Monday, January 3, 2011

It dulls the pain of days

As testimony fills my heart,
It dulls the pain of days.
For one brief moment, Heaven's view
Appears before my gaze.
("Testimony", Hymns, 137)

A friend quoted this verse in her testimony yesterday in our sacrament meeting and it resonated with me.

Given enough time our hearts heal. That healing may be aided by the support of loving friends and family. And by the help of professional counselors or even medication. But also by the growth of testimony in the Lord Jesus Christ and in His gospel – the good news of His atoning sacrifice and its implications for us in this life and the next.

We spoke about Exaltation in our Gospel Essentials class yesterday. It was a lesson that brought together a year of study of the Lord's Plan for us. That Plan of Redemption, of Happiness, of Salvation is our Father's gift to us, a means of our returning to His presence. And a testimony of that Plan helps my heart to heal. It gives me hope, even in the face of what otherwise might seem like crushing burdens in my life.

In this past two weeks I've had incredible spiritual highs and lows. I've seen the positive effect of great choices that one child has made, and I've also seen at the same time lingering negative effect of the choices of another child. The contrast has been exhausting, frankly. I love both of these children, and I want the best for both of them. And I know that I am powerless in both cases and must simply follow Alma the elder's example and rely on the Lord to sort things out.

For me, testimony dulls the pain of days. I'm grateful for a deep enough spiritual well to sustain me. And that deeper well comes specifically because I've learned more in the last few years about the atonement than I thought I could.

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