Spiritual Sudoku

I recently worked my first Sudoku puzzle. If you’re not familiar, Sudoku puzzles have nine rows of nine digits each, organized into nine 3 x 3 squares. Each digit from 1-9 appears in each row, each column and each 3x3 square only once. The puzzle gives you a certain number of “known” digits to start, and you fill in the rest, using the given digits and subsequent “found” digits to determine placement of the remaining digits until the puzzle is complete.

(For a simple puzzle or two, you can go to lots of websites, including here.)

My first puzzle was very painful. It took me lots of trial and error to finally arrive at the correct solution. After some time, however, I’ve learned to look at the puzzles somewhat differently. I’m getting better at seeing the relationship of rows and columns and squares, and looking at all three simultaneously to discover which digit is missing from a particular sequence.

Of course the first puzzles are easier to solve. They have more digits given at the outset, so it’s a little easier to figure out what digits are missing and where they should fit. The harder puzzles have fewer digits, require closer observation and reasoning. Some of the puzzles I’ve done by making an educated guess and trying out a theory to see if it works, and when it fails I’ve had to unravel what I’ve done and try again.

Just like life.

In the early days of my testimony, I was concentrated on one row or one column, finding digits to fill in gaps and feeling pretty good about my progress. As I’ve matured spiritually and intellectually, I’ve come to see nuances I did not notice before. I don’t fault others for my lack of nuance. It wasn’t that I wasn’t taught about four first vision accounts, but that I first had to wrestle with the concept of the first vision before I could worry about different accounts. It wasn’t a question of peep stones in a hat versus “reading” the plates, but first the whole idea of divine “translation” regardless of the method.

As I have grown up in my spiritual understanding, I’ve also gotten a different sense over time about the relative importance of details compared with story arcs. When I concentrated on just one line or column, getting the right digit was easy, but it was also more important. When I’m looking at the whole puzzle, it’s more like fitting a piece of the jigsaw puzzle. Yes, the detail (the digit) is important, but what really matters is how the whole puzzle looks, not just one row or column. In my testimony, a particular fact or detail is still important, but as a part of a whole.

As a result, I can view a volume of scripture like the Book of Mormon in a variety of ways. First and foremost it is what it says it is: a testimony of Jesus Christ. (Even before we printed that on the cover it was clear from the title page and from most of 1 Nephi that’s what it was.) It’s no surprise to me that the record begins with a spiritual account rather than a historical one. (Never mind what Mormon’s plates did; I can only examine what I have in the final product.) The spiritual witness trumps the historicity of the book. (I don’t doubt the historicity, by the way; I do not read the book as totally allegorical, but I also am less concerned with examing finer points of geography and history and comparing them to the archeological record.)

Another thing that is true for me about the Sudoku puzzles is that I can look at the same collection of digits and see different things at different times. In one review, I can’t figure out how to put the digits together, and the next time I work my way through the puzzle I suddenly see something I hadn’t before, and the next part of the solution appears. That’s true for my testimony, as well.

I’ve had significant moments in my development of testimony where items I’ve held on the shelf for years have suddenly found resolution. Sometimes it’s because of new information that I learn, or a new way of looking at old information. Other times it’s simply (like it’s really simple!) a spiritual confirmation that I had previously lacked. For me it often comes when I am not looking for it, but always when I am looking. That is, often long-awaited answers come in the normal course of my spiritual development, while I’m on the path, trying to move closer to my Father in Heaven. I don’t remember their ever coming when I’ve been defiant or angry or out to prove someone wrong.

I’ve written before that I’m on a faith journey, and it is far from over. I am not one of those who will lightly say that all is well. As good as things are (and many, many things in my spiritual life are very good), all is not well. I have plenty of concerns for myself and for people I love. I still have plenty of unanswered questions. Some, I suspect, will not be answered until I get to attend Advance Gospel Principles in the next life. Some will undoubtedly be resolved in my normal course of study and prayer. But the presence of questions does not prevent my moving forward along my path, mostly because I remember the tender mercies of the past; I remember answers I have received, some dramatic and some not so much, but answers all the same.

They can't count!

Well, that’s it: the Book of Mormon cannot be true.

My proof: from our family scripture reading this morning:

And thus did the thirty and eighth year pass away, and also the thirty and ninth, and forty and first, and the forty and second, yea, even until forty and nine years had passed away, and also the fifty and first, and the fifty and second; yea, and even until fifty and nine years had passed away.

It’s clear that the Nephites didn’t know how to count! They left out 40 and 50 from their listing of years. Or Joseph Smith didn’t know how to count.

I file this reasoning in with the same reasoning that says the Book of Mormon can’t be true because Alma says Jesus was born in Jerusalem.


When I think about the truth of the Book of Mormon, I reflect on Moroni’s promise, that through the Holy Ghost we can know the truth of these things. The “these things” that Moroni refers to may be his few words of exhortation, though I have assumed them to be the Book of Mormon as presented to us.

In verse 3 he admonishes us to begin by remembering:

Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts (emphasis mine).

Often we talk about Moroni’s promise by focusing on praying and getting that answer, but this idea of remembering the Lord’s mercy toward the children of men is an intergral part to getting that answer. Remember that in the beginning of the record we have, Nephi tells us that the record sets out to show the Lord’s tender mercies:

But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance.

The truth of the Book of Mormon to me is the reality of those tender mercies, the reality of Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice. This is not to say that details of the record are not important. The poetry is fascinating. The alternate geographies are interesting to consider. The list of animals is perplexing. But the testimony of Christ is constant, powerful and pervasive.

The spirit which teaches me as I study the Book of Mormon is, I believe, the Holy Ghost which does, as Moroni promises, allow us to know the truth of all things.

BTW: You can read my latest post at Real Intent "Walking the Path to Charity through the Atonement" here.

The gospel of inclusion

In our family scripture reading this morning, we read these words of the Savior:

And ye see that I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world; and whosoever breaketh this commandment suffereth himself to be led into temptation.

I was reminded again that the Lord's gospel is one of inclusion, not exclusion. The Savior repeatedly invites us to come unto Him; He does not send us away.

Even so, He also does not relax his standards or change His expectations for us. We are commanded to be perfect as He is. But as I grow in the gospel (and, though I've been at this over 45 years, God's not done with me yet!), I continue to learn that He does not expect me to be perfect overnight. In fact, I simply cannot be.

And that's another reason for His continuing invitations to come unto Him. If I am to follow His commandment to be perfect, it will be only through Him. His atoning sacrifice is the only hope I have of obeying Him.

But the other thing that I felt as I read that verse in 3 Nephi this morning is that I should make sure that I am not sending someone away; I also need to invite those around me to come unto Christ. I need to do that in the way I behave toward others, but I also need to directly invite people to come unto Him. Those people may include members of my family, friends, acquaintances and strangers.

I've written before about the lessons I have learned in my own family about inviting my children to be close to me, even if we do not see eye to eye on things that are important to us. I believe those lessons are consistent with the Savior's teaching, as well. We are not about sending people away, but we are about drawing people in -- drawing them into our circle of influence, drawing them near to us with charity, lifting them up, mourning with those that mourn and comforting those that stand in need of comfort. That drawing in and strengthening is at the very heart of our covenants as members of the Lord's church.

Merry Christmas

May you enjoy the peace of this season as you contemplate the gift that is the birth and life of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

BTW, you can see my Christmas post at Real Intent, "My Children and the Traditions of Their Father," here.

Ardis on Sharing Christ -- please read it!

Please head on over to Keepapitchinin and read Ardis' post "Sharing Christ" in which she disusses LDS view of the Savior. An outstanding post.

You'll find it here.

You may now resume your normal blogging activities...

Easter celebrations

Happy Easter!

The Easter Bunny does not come to our house. He never has. I don't know why he doesn't seem to know where we live... We will have some Easter candy in the house -- probably a common bowl or basket that everyone can munch on during the day.

Here are some things we'll do Easter weekend, though:

1. An Easter egg hunt -- We usually do this on Saturday afternoon. We'll hide plastic eggs (filled with goodies) in the yard and the kids will find them. The kids are getting older, so we may skip this tradition this year.

2. Resurrection cookies -- These are those cookies you can make while reading selected verses from the New Testament about the crucifixion and resurrection of the Savior. We've done them off and on over the years, but our 11-year-old daughter specifically asked for them this year so we'll do them. (I'm putting a recipe at the bottom of the post in case you don't have one.)

3. John 20 -- My favorite chapter of scripture, bar none. We'll read it aloud as a family on Sunday, probably Sunday morning since we have afternoon church. Quite a number of years ago, we were attending a general conference broadcast one Easter morning when the satellite dish went out. To fill the time, someone suggested we sing hymns, and our bishop asked me to read this chapter in between hymns. It was really moving to me at the time, and it has been a part of my Easter celebration ever since.

4. Enjoy Easter messages at church -- I'm pretty confident this will happen. The first Easter my lovely wife and I were married, we attended our Provo ward only to have the high council speaker begin his talking hoping the Easter Bunny had been good to the children, and then he went on to speak about food storage. Since our present Bishop used to be our ward clerk while I was bishop, he heard me tell that story every year for five years. I'm not saying I'm the reason he's mindful of Easter, but I'm happy he is! I know at least our ward choir will sing my favorite Easter hymn ever, "That Easter Morn."

I hope you have a peaceful Easter weekend, and that you are able to reflect on the remarkable miracles of the first Easter.

Here's the cookie recipe. I found this one at Annie's "Resurrection Cookies" Page, but it's just like the typed recipe we have (and saved my typing it again). She does not know the original source of the recipe, and neither do I.

Annie's "Resurrection Cookies" Page
~Also known as Easter Story Cookies~

This is a great recipe to teach your Children the REAL story of Easter. That the Lord Jesus Christ
our Savior is not dead but has Risen. We serve a Risen Savior......

This activity can be done as a "family" or for Sunday School. Of course the Sunday School option might
be to hand it out to the class with a note to the parents. Grandparents might considering
doing this with their grandchildren this year too!!!

So Grab your Apron and Let's Get Started!!!!!!!

You will need:
1 cup whole pecans
1 teaspoon vinegar
3 egg whites
a pinch salt
1 cup sugar
a zipper baggy
1 wooden spoon
scotch tape
Bible

Instructions:
These are to be made the evening before Easter. Preheat oven to 300F.
*** (this is very important --- don't wait until you are half done with the recipe).
Place pecans in zipper baggy and let children beat them with the wooden spoon
to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested. He
was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read: John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 teaspoon vinegar into mixing bowl.
Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar
to drink. Read: John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life
to give us life. Read: John 10:10&11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest
into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers,
and the bitterness of our own sin. Read: Luke 23:27

So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the
sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to
know and belong to Him. Read: Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.
Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins
have been cleansed by Jesus. Read: Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoon onto waxed paper covered cookie sheet.
Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.
Read: Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.
Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed. Read: Matthew 27:65-66

GO TO BED!

Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.
Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read: John 16:20&22

On Resurrection Sunday (Easter) morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked
surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus' followers were amazed
to find the tomb open and empty. Read: Matthew 28:1-9

~

Pretty much as I expected (feared)...

First of all, let me just say I’m following apostolic counsel in this post. A number of years ago, Elder Eyring told a story about walking home from church with his dad. Young Hal had been bored in Sacrament Meeting, and his dad thought the meeting was great. Then Dad explained to Young Hal that if he listened to a talk that wasn’t up to snuff, he’d simply imagine how he would have given the talk instead, and he’d get more out of the meeting.

This past Sunday, we did the GAS Lesson #3. It was fast Sunday, but we have Ward Conference next week, so our group leadership decided to do the GAS lesson as their “presidency” lesson.

I had been slated to teach this lesson before we all realized there was a conflict with Ward Conference. And I was looking forward to it, too. President Smith’s words all point to a common theme: We believe in Christ; the Bible testifies of Him; the Book of Mormon testifies of Him; Joseph Smith testified of Him. And we can testify of Him in our words and deeds.

In our group, the discussion quickly descended into a “Why don’t they think we are Christians?” session. To me, that was a lost opportunity.

It was telling to me that the word Christian did not appear in the GAS lesson material. There were plenty of references to the Savior, but none to that particular label. And that, to me, was a signal of where the discussion could go (instead of where it actually went).

I understand the desire to complain a bit about the treatment we get from “the world,” especially here in the mission field. I understand that some of that talk may be inevitable, especially in an environment with a prominent Mormon presidential candidate drawing fire from evangelical Christians and sometimes candidates who appeal to them. And it was interesting to hear of personal experiences people in our group had confronting the issue with their friends and associates. (Our HPGL told of his wife’s experience: she participates in a Bible study at a local protestant church. On one particular week, another woman kept insisting that the HPGL’s wife did not believe in Christ. Finally the protestant woman was so upset that she left, and the HPGL’s wife stayed at the Bible study.)

I was glad that another member of the group mentioned our opportunity to demonstrate our faith in Christ by the way we lead our lives. (His question: If you were accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?)

It reminded me of a post from blogger Middle-Aged Mormon Man in which he puts a great perspective on the question of the label of Christian. You can find it here. (Go ahead, click on the link!)

I would have preferred spending more time affirming our faith in Christ and discussing how we could show it, rather than defending our faith in Christ to an opposition that was not even present.

Free Gift! Salvation

We were reading 2 Nephi 2 in our family scripture reading tonight. This is the famous “opposition in all things” and “men are free to choose” chapter. But my favorite verses come earlier in the chapter. Lehi speaks to Jacob, who as a young man has already had his own vision of the Savior, and says,

And thou hast beheld in thy youth his glory; wherefore, thou art blessed even as they unto whom he shall minister in the flesh; for the Spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. And the way is prepared from the fall of man, and salvation is free (v. 4).

He states that the law does not justify anyone (in fact, the law cuts people off from God). But:

Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth.

Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered (v. 6-7).

The ends of the law are only met through the redemption of Jesus Christ, the Savior. And to drive the point home:

Wherefore, how great the importance to make these things known unto the inhabitants of the earth, that they may know that there is no flesh that can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah, who layeth down his life according to the flesh, and taketh it again by the power of the Spirit, that he may bring to pass the resurrection of the dead, being the first that should rise (v. 8).

From here, Lehi then expounds (now famously) on opposition – that the punishment brought by the law is required for the joy that may also come, and that those opposing forces are required in order for each to exist. Men are, after all, that they might have joy.

And the path to joy? Through Jesus Christ, of course:

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

And now, my sons, I would that ye should look to the great Mediator, and hearken unto his great commandments; and be faithful unto his words, and choose eternal life, according to the will of his Holy Spirit (v. 27-28).

Here’s where the concept of free begins to be developed in an interesting way. Salvation is free – that is, it is available to all. But men are also free, precisely because the Savior has made them so through his redeeming sacrifice. And, according to Lehi, men are wise to choose to follow the Savior.

Salvation: a free gift. As I ponder the Savior’s birth this week, I’ll surely also ponder this great gift.

Christ is still in Christmas here...

I have read for years about communities that are systematically excluding Christ from Christmas, with ever-increasing commercialization of the holiday, removal of religious symbols, and (in some cases) mixing of religious and secular symbols. (Here's a recent story.)

I’m happy to report that in my little town of Plymouth, Michigan, we still have a nativity scene in Kellogg Park, the “town square” in the heart of downtown. The park is also filled with Christmas trees sponsored by neighborhood businesses and organizations and decorated for the season. In addition to the crèche, there are also statues of three wise men riding camels that are moved closer and closer to the crèche until they are at the stable on Christmas. (The park also sports a large lighted menorah, and Santa has a house there, too, where he greets the children who come to see him.)

Not only is the crèche in the town square, but there are crèches that adorn the lawns of many of the churches in town, and the neighborhood yards, as well. (One of our neighbors used to have a sign in lights in their front yard, “Happy Birthday Jesus!”)

We attended holiday orchestra and choir concerts for my kids where we heard songs of the season, including religious songs (something that many districts won’t allow).

I’ve long believed that my family’s religious training is my responsibility. We pray at home, and I don’t particularly want my kids to pray in school. Our home has (my 11-year old daughter just counted them) 41 crèches. My wife’s piano students all see the three prints of the Savior we have in our living room. (A few years ago, the dad of one of those students – not LDS – defended us as Christian to one of his friends who claimed we weren’t, in part because of those prints.)

But I’m happy to live in a community where there is tolerance and acceptance of religious belief. We have many strong Catholic and Protestant congregations in our community and most of our non-LDS friends are active in one (which makes for tough missionary work, but great neighbors).

What about where you live? Do you see signs of Christ in Christmas?

A heap of guilt with a side of shame?

One of the lessons participants in certain 12-step support groups learn is about the difference between guilt and shame. This is particularly helpful for co-dependents who may seek help through Al-Anon or Families Anonymous, or the church’s Family Support Group (a companion program to the Addiction Recovery Program, still in pilot stages in selected locations). As co-dependents let go of things that don't belong to them, they hopefully also learn to release guilt they have falsely carried related to their loved one's lives. Overcoming shame (for the co-dependent and for the addicted loved one) may be more difficult.

Alma teaches Corianton about the proper place for guilt:

And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.

O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility (Alma 42:29-30, emphasis mine).

Guilt can be a positive force in our lives, if, as Alma teaches, we allow it to bring us to repentance.

Consider Enos’ experience:

And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that it reached the heavens.

And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away (Enos 1:4-6, emphasis mine).

His guilt was swept away! Awesome. And just right. That is precisely the point of the atonement (one point, anyway). Through the blessing of the atonement we have the opportunity to turn from our sins and change and be better than we were. Our guilt can be swept away.

Shame, on the other hand, is a different kettle of fish. If guilt is that feeling that motivates us to change – that Godly sorrow that moves us to repent and to call on the Savior’s love and mercy to rescue us, shame is that deceitful web of the adversary that would have us believe that there is no hope for someone like us, that since we’ve sinned, no one could love us, especially God. (Of course the fact is that God has already loved us; His Son has already paid the price of our sin long before we committed it!)

Shame may keep us from seeking repentance because we believe we are unredeemable, or the pain or embarrassment (for us or for those we love) of repenting will be too great.

It is easy to leap from shame to pride – to suggest that somehow shame is our fault. I would recommend against that. Pride is pride and shame is shame; they are not the same. There are some whose pride may prevent their repentance, but that is not shame. Shame is often externally imposed, perhaps even unwittingly (in my generation, many were reared in shaming homes: “You should know better than that. How could you do such a thing? We don’t do that in our family!”).

Well-meaning church teachers might also instill shame when they teach (even unthinkingly) that certain sins are so serious they are virtually unredeemable, even though that is clearly not true. President Packer taught in the most recent conference:

You may in time of trouble think that you are not worth saving because you have made mistakes, big or little, and you think you are now lost. That is never true! Only repentance can heal what hurts. But repentance can heal what hurts, no matter what it is ("Counsel to Youth," October 2011 General Conference, emphasis mine).

Guilt focuses on what we have or have not done. Shame focuses often on who we are.

When we care for one another by bearing one another’s burdens, comforting those who stand in need of comfort and mourning with those that mourn, ideally we are easing a burden, not adding to it with shame. (A nice discussion of this thought, with reference to Job and his "friends" here.)

The good news – that is, The Good News – is that the atonement can help us in both cases. Not only did the Savior bear the pain of all our sins, but he bore all our pain so that, as Alma taught, “he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities” (Alma 7:12).

It is helpful for me to remember the story of the father with incomplete faith as recorded in Mark. The father approached Jesus, pleading with him to heal his son who was beset with a deaf and dumb spirit. The Savior teaches him, “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (9:23). The father instantly confesses his belief, but then adds (perhaps sensing that the Lord already knows that his faith is weak), “help thou mine unbelief” (v. 24). The Savior does not chide him, nor does he refuse to help. Instead, he casts out the spirit and restores the boy to health.

It is helpful to remember that the Savior was willing to bless this boy and his imperfect father. And I believe he is willing to bless me. Even though I make mistakes that cause me guilt, they need not bring me shame.

I'm feeling a little Christmas...

Now that Thanksgiving is safely behind us (and I LOVE Thanksgiving, by the way), and Black Friday is over (and I HATE Black Friday), and Cyber Monday is past (I'm abivalent about Cyber Monday since I sort of ignored it)...

Our lights are up outside; our tree is up inside. Our collection of Nativity scenes are spread all around the house. Christmas carols are playing on the family CD player (much to my curmudgeonly 15-year-old's dismay).

Here's a little video to get you in the spirit:



Merry Christmas.

Atonement Blessings: Give Peace A Chance

I am grateful for the atonement. Why? Because of what I have come to learn through my own experience with the atonement. The thoughts for this post grew out of discussions my wife and I have had about the atonement as she prepared a talk for this past weekend’s stake conference on the same subject. (Her talk was outstanding, by the way!)

Perhaps the first blessing of the atonement (though maybe not the first one I realized in my own life) is the free gift of resurrection. Through the Savior’s resurrection, we all overcome the physical death that comes to us because of the fall.

The first blessing I realized from the atonement, however, is the gift of repentance – the opportunity to right a wrong. I can think of times when my parents taught me this principle when I was a small child, before I really needed repentance (though we didn’t know that at the time; we didn’t leave our protestant congregation for the LDS church until I was nearly nine). I learned as small child the power of apologizing and trying to correct a mistake. As my wife points out in her talk, the value of repentance is that it helps us get in a place to feel the influence of the Holy Ghost.

And for many years, I believed repentance was the key to the blessings of the atonement in our lives. As a bishop some years ago I watched the atonement come alive for more than one person who sought to return to the Lord’s path. And as a father, I’ve enjoyed the healing balm of the atonement as I’ve recognized and corrected errors in my own parenting.

But in the last five years or so, I’ve come to understand another benefit of the atonement, namely that I can forgive someone else. I had always assumed the atonement was so I could seek the Lord’s forgiveness. But now I believe it is just as important for me to forgive. And I can only do that effectively because of the atonement.

In Alma 7 we read of the power of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ:

And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities (v. 11-12).

Because the Lord has taken upon himself the pains and afflictions and infirmities of every kind (including mine!), I can freely forgive. I can do so without expectation of retribution or recompense. I can allow societal and legal consequences to fall where they may, but I do not need to exact my pound of flesh from one who hurts me because the Savior has made me whole. The atonement has offered me the healing balm I need.

One of the key products of forgiveness for me is peace, because when I forgive, I can leave behind the anger and resentment that I otherwise carry around with me. The act of “letting it go” lightens my burden (by laying it at the Savior’s feet).

My wife concluded her talk with this verse from John. It is, for me, the gift of the atonement most available to me in this life:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid (John 14:27).

That's a peace I'd like to give a chance.

"Important, But Not Essential"

I had an interesting phone call this week. I was a participant in the latest Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life poll. The caller identified herself as being a part of the Pew Research group, assured me it was not a sales call, and confirmed I was the youngest adult male over 18 in the house.

She asked a number of sets of questions. First were questions on specific political figures. I was to rate each one on a four point scale, and she asked about Rick Perry, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. (Only Sarah Palin got the lowest mark from me.)

She asked about my religious affiliation and when I selected Mormon from her list, she then confirmed that I was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (her list included the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the Community of Christ and “another Mormon group”).

She asked a series of questions in which I had to choose the statement I agreed most with (the toughest of those was a question on abortion because there was no nuance in the statements). She asked a group of questions about things that were extremely important, somewhat important, not very important and not at all important, including having children, being married, and having a high paying job.

She asked about whether I thought Mormons (or other religious groups) were targets of discrimination. And she asked whether I thought Mormonism was similar (very similar, somewhat similar, not very similar, not at all similar) to Judaism, Catholicism, Evangelical Christianity and Islam. She asked if I held a current temple recommend and confirmed my age and income level.

But most interesting to me was the section from which this post’s title comes. She asked some specific doctrinal and behavioral questions and asked for each item if I thought the item was essential, important but not essential, not very important, or not at all important. The items included believing that Joseph Smith was a prophet and translated the Book of Mormon, caring for the poor and needy, believing that Jesus was resurrected, abstaining from coffee, abstaining from alcohol, not attending R-rated movies, among others.

As she worked through her list, I did a quick calculus in my mind to sort out what parts of my beliefs are essential and what parts are important but not essential. I created a quick forced-ranking, and I acknowledged that just because I have a testimony of the truthfulness of a particular thing, it does not necessarily mean that thing is essential.

In the end, for me at the moment, there were few essentials: acceptance of Christ’s mission and keeping his commandments. Everything else was important but not essential. Even as I worked that through in my mind (in the few seconds we stayed in this section), I realized that although logic would suggest an acceptance of Joseph’s role as a prophet would make my keeping the commandments revealed through him easier, it was not essential in my rubric of the essential things’ being acceptance of Christ’s mission and keeping his commandments.

I will continue to think about what is essential and what is important, but not essential. I’d be interested in knowing what you would put on each list.

Lessons From My Garden: Water

Since I live in the Midwest, we get some rain during the summer. But we still run sprinklers in the lawn and flower beds to keep things looking good.

Some of the plants in my flower bed thrive and not so much. There are a few that seem particularly dependent upon water and are planted just at the edge of the range of the sprinklers. Those plants always look less robust than the others: the leaves wrinkle, they don’t bloom as well, and they are smaller than those that seem to be better watered.

As far as I can tell, the dirt is pretty much the same. They all get the same dose of Miracle Gro every few weeks. The big difference in their care is the water.

When I think about my own gospel experience, I sometimes ask myself how close I am to the water. If I feel my enthusiasm flag, if I find myself hypercritical of my friends at church, if I find myself complaining about being asked to serve or to attend a meeting, I have learned to ask how close I am to the water.

Unlike my plants, I can move closer if I need to (or want to). I can read the scriptures more. I can pay more attention to my prayers. I can open the door and invite the Savior into my life. I can give more freely of myself. All of those things help me to drink more freely of the living water of the gospel (See John 4).

One of my favorite promises is in Isaiah 58, a great chapter on the law of the fast. If we draw near to the Lord (by properly fasting and caring for the poor in this chapter), we are promised, “And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not” (Isaiah 58:11).

That’s something I – and the plants in my garden – would like.

The Progressive Gospel

In his talk in the final session of the April general conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said this:

Obviously as the path of discipleship ascends, that trail gets ever more narrow until we come to that knee-buckling pinnacle of the sermon of which Elder Christofferson just spoke: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” What was gentle in the lowlands of initial loyalty becomes deeply strenuous and very demanding at the summit of true discipleship.

Elder Holland referenced the Sermon on the Mount (see Matthew 5-7), speaking of the gentle blessings of the beatitudes and the more demanding higher law of avoiding lust, not just adultery, of avoiding anger, not just murder.

There are those who claim that our standing with God is dependent only upon an attitude or a one-time confession of faith. While I agree that I cannot pave my own way to heaven with my good works, I also acknowledge that the Sermon on the Mount requires my effort to live as Jesus would have me live.

That way of living spans from my relationships with others (friends and foes alike) to my innermost thoughts to my treatment of the poor to my relationship to God.

A growth in the gospel leads, according to Elder Holland, to an increasingly steeper path. That’s no surprise to me. A growth in testimony leads to clearer understanding of what I don’t understand as much as what I do. A progression in the covenants and saving ordinances of the gospel leads me to increasingly poignant commitments with the Lord. And an increase in understanding leads me to greater responsibility for what I understand.

Fortunately the Lord provides iron rods and liahonas along the way. I may search the scriptures, learn from the living prophets and seek my own answers through prayer. But the fact is, I must search. learn and seek. I cannot simply rest on some plateau, satisfied that I’ve traveled far enough.

And I must also remember that I cannot save myself. My only choice is to rely upon the merits of Christ, who is the author and the finisher of my faith (see Moroni 6:4).

My best Easter ever

No, it wasn't today. But today was great. Our bishopric gave inspiring talks about the Savior and His life and ministry. We had a wonderful Easter dinner with extended family. And we had a wonderful spirit as we read scriptures tonight before the kids went to bed.

But my best Easter Sunday is still fresh in my mind. I was in graduate school in Pittsburgh about a quarter century ago, attending as an adult the ward I attended as a child. It was General Conference weekend, and there was something wrong with the satellite dish, so we couldn't get the first bit of the first Sunday session of conference.

Someone asked the bishop if we could sing hymns until the dish was fixed. He went one step further and assigned an opening hymn and prayer, and another hymn, and then, he announced, I would read the Easter story from John. During the hymns I madly searched for the Easter story in John (Chapter 20, I quickly discovered).

I don't know why he asked me to read it. Perhaps because I was sitting on the front row. Perhaps because I was teaching seminary at the time. Perhaps because he thought I could read through it clearly. Perhaps because he wanted me to have the blessing of doing it.

As I stood before the congregation and read, it was a remarkable experience for me. As I read those words aloud, the truth of the resurrection and the events surrounding it swelled in my heart. The confirmation of the spirit was clear and strong for me that day, and returns each time I read that chapter.

It happened again today as I deviated from our planned lesson in Gospel Essentials and read John 20 with our class today. (We did spend time on our planned lesson, too, but the meat was clearly in John.)

And it happened again in our living room as we read together as a family.

I'm grateful for that confirming witness that reminds me of our Savior's love for us, and for me.

A revelatory experience

Today was the second worldwide training session for Handbook 2, and I'm sure there will be plenty of commentary across the bloggernacle. And the segments from today's training will soon also be online at lds.org, according to Elder Nelson (who conducted the meeting).

I had the pleasure of attending with my wife, as we each happen to have callings that got us invited.

Things that moved me:

1. Can I just say that I love Sister Beck? As my wife and I spoke about her on the way home, we agreed she is plain-talking, uplifting, and generally spot-on in just about everything she says. My favorite quote of hers today: "The Lord loves beginners." Thank goodness, I say, because each day I'm a beginner all over again.

2. The video segments from international settings were wonderful. Apart from wondering how they filmed the interactions in Korea and Guatemala and Britain, I was just really impressed. The Guatemalan ward council was particularly impressive to me. It reminded me of ward council meetings I attended in Venezuela, and so I had a great mixture of memory and impressions about the present example.

3. The repeated invitation to seek personal revelation, inspiration, the spirit of revelation, revelatory experiences and so on. I was impressed by the number of invitations, and by the impressions I felt during the broadcast and during our own mini family council on the way home.

4. The opportunity to attend with my wife and to hear what was important to her, namely the discussion of priesthood principles. She appreciated the instruction since, as she said, she doesn't get that instruction as often as she would like.

5. Elder Scott's apostolic witness. My favorite quotation from him: "I know He lives because I know Him." I believe he does.

I was happy to be so well taught.

On grace and repentance

In recovery circles, where 12-step programs are practiced, there's an understanding that one cannot do it alone. If one takes the AA approach to recovery, one first faces the reality that no one can, by himself, control the disease of addiction. And one walks through steps that lead one to understand dependence on God for rescue from that same disease.

It's not that there isn't a great deal of work to be done by the person seeking recovery (whether an addict, an alcoholic or a co-dependent loved one of an addict). Surrendering oneself to God is no simple task.

In Step 7 of the church's Addiction Recovery Program (which is based on the 12 steps of AA, but is also infused with more direct links to doctrine and to commentary from apostles and prophets), we read these words:

"Genuine remorse filled our hearts, not only because we had suffered or made others suffer but because we regretted that even in recovery we still could not remove our own shortcomings…. We asked that He would grant us grace, that through Him we might maintain this new way of life" (A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing", 41, emphasis mine).

My own experience is that the 12 steps are an elegant application of the atonement in our lives, and lessons from the 12 steps are readily applicable to other efforts at repentance and rebirth. The truth of this particular step is no exception:

All of us who sin (and I think I can safely say that's all of us) cannot overcome that sin alone. It is not enough simply to stop our objectionable behavior (even if we can): we require the mercy and grace of a loving Savior to heal our hearts and our lives.

Herein is God's grace clear, that we have the opportunity to overcome our shortcomings, that He can turn our weaknesses into strengths (see Ether 12:27), that He can lift up the hands that hang down (D&C 81:8). I have seen that grace in my own life, and that is how I know He lives.

Building on the Rock

Helaman 5:12 tells us to “remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God that ye must build your foundation” in order to withstand the buffetings of Satan.

The word remember holds particular significance to me. In Alma 5 Alma the Younger counsels his people to remember the captivity of their fathers, and he recounts his father’s change of heart in the face of Abinadi, and the Lord’s saving those people from their oppressors. He encourages the people to remember their own conversion. Surely one way to build upon the rock of Christ is to remember. Another is to – as Alma did – heed the words of God’s prophet.

Alma asks the people to remember their own conversion and asks if the people have the image of Christ in their countenances – do they look like Christ because of what they do? Another way to build on the rock of Christ is to act as He did.

There’s a great story told at least three times in the scriptures – first in Numbers 21 – of the fiery serpents which afflict the Israelites. Moses is told to lift one on his staff, and if the people would look, they’d be healed. 1 Nephi 17:41 tells us some did not look because of the simpleness of the way. Doing the simple things God asks us to do through His prophet is another way to build upon the rock of Christ.

The sacrament prayers are also about remembering. We eat the bread in remembrance of the body of Christ and drink the water in remembrance of His blood. In the prayer on the bread we’re reminded that we certify that we are willing to take His name upon us, that we will remember His always, and keep his commandments.

Elder Oaks years ago spoke of the sacrament and suggested that when we are baptized we begin to take Christ’s name upon us, but we do not completely do it until we have entered into temple covenants. Preparing for and attending the temple are ways we build upon the rock of Christ.

Again, we remember Him, and as we remember Him it becomes easier to keep his commandments.

Here is something else I know about the rock of Christ: The Savior lives. He loves us. His rock does not move. His arms are outstretched waiting for us to come home to Him. We may make choices that move us away from Him, but he waits patiently for us, having already suffered for our sins, having already atoned for us. All we need to do is come to Him and build on His rock.

The Atonement in My Life

With Easter week upon us, I find myself drawn to the remarkable circumstances surrounding the Atonement. It is ironic to me that sometimes among Mormon congregations Easter gets only a brief mention compared to the great significance given this holiday among other Christian denominations. (Another day perhaps I'll tell the story of the sacrament meeting I attended on Easter Sunday only to have a high councilor talk about food storage…)

But to be sure Latter-day Saints, like our other Christian friends, certainly hold dear the events surrounding Easter which are part of the all-encompassing atonement of Jesus Christ. The Savior began his suffering for our sins as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, and that suffering continued on the cross where he was killed in an awful way. His sacrifice was as voluntary as it was complete.

His rising from the tomb on the third day, what we celebrate as Easter Sunday, signifies for all men and women the power to overcome death through a literal resurrection – a reuniting of body and spirit which overcomes the physical death introduced into the world when Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden of Eden.

The Savior's suffering for our sins, indeed bearing all our pain, provides us the remarkable opportunity to change. Because of His grace in offering us His atoning sacrifice, we can not only overcome the finality of physical death, but we can also improve ourselves by following His example, and we can return to our Father in Heaven.

That opportunity to change is precious to me. Years ago, after a particularly difficult time with my then-young adult son, I sent him a long letter describing how the atonement could bless his life by allowing him to change for the better. I wrote it in my righteous indignation over mistakes I felt he had made, and I enumerated how, if he would be thoughtful and careful, he could take advantage of the opportunity to repent and find happiness.

The facts of my letter could have been spot on, but the tone was not. And it was not until two years later that I realized my error. A friend and I were discussing Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. As we talked, I had come to my mind the original letter I had written (that I had in the meantime all but forgotten). I realized that while my son may have needed the atonement in his life, I needed it, too. And for me in that moment, my need was far greater than his.

I went home that night and wrote him another letter, also about the atonement, but also asking his forgiveness for my behavior two years earlier, recognizing (and admitting) the beam in my own eye instead of looking for the mote in his.

I was not perfect after I wrote that letter, but I was better. And I came to feel the blessing of the atonement in my own life as I sought to right wrongs for which I was responsible. My relationship with my son improved, not because he changed (though he did grow up over the years), but because I did.

I've had this same scene play over and over in my life as I have realized how much I need the atonement. We sing a hymn, "I Stand All Amazed," and I really am amazed at the love Jesus has shown me to allow me to change, to improve, to draw nearer to Him.