I've been sick -- and what it's taught me about the atonement

I've been sick – a Lesson in the Atonement

It's been a bad week. A recurring sickness caught up with me again this week. When it comes, it's a few days of fever and chills, infection and soreness. There are trips to the doctor for injections of antibiotics as well as plenty of ibuprofen and oral antibiotics. And bed rest. And in the first day or two the inevitable feeling that I will never ever get well.

Of course I do get well. I have every time I have one of these bouts. Some have been worse than others (two hospitalizations for IV antibiotics in twenty five years; and one particularly unpleasant trip to an urgent care center a few years ago), and some better, meaning they pass by more quickly. But every time I get sick with one of these, I go through at least a little while where I assume I will not get better. Not ever.

I can't quite explain my reaction. In my head I know that antibiotics and bed rest will do the trick. But something in my fever-rattled brain doesn't believe it.

I think that straying from the straight and narrow has a similar effect. Those of us who try to do what is right, try to make good choices, try to live the gospel know that the atonement is there for all of us. We know (as someone in church today said) the atonement has already happened – it's not some future event that might happen. It's already taken place. So in our heads we know that forgiveness is possible and we can find our way back.

We know if we stray from the path, there are things to be done. First, stop. Second, turn around (that is, repent) and get back on the path.

Why then, is coming back to the path such a challenge? I think it's because of a few things. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. So once we've strayed it's hard to stop and turn around. Sometimes it feels like we're an ocean liner trying to turn around. But even more I think it's the adversary's plan compared with the Savior's.

The Savior tells us what we should and should not do in order to be happy (those commandments). The adversary, Satan, tells us that the commandments are silly and they restrict our freedom. When we break a commandment, the Savior still loves us (and that love is what prompted His ultimate sacrifice), and provides us a way to return. Satan (the great liar), however, tells us we are beyond forgiveness, we are what we are, and we can't change.

A friend says the Lord's plan is to bind us so we can be free (bind us by covenants and commandments), while Satan's plan is to free us so we can be bound (that is, he "allows" us to do whatever he wants, and thereby binds us to our sin, and even addictions).

In the end, our hearts need to believe that the atonement will work for us to try. I've been fortunate to be able to point to examples in my own life and in others' lives where the atonement has made a difference, where change has been possible, where improvement comes. The atonement is a startling gift to me sometimes. I really do stand all amazed at the love the Savior has shown us by his singular sacrifice.

But I also know to enjoy its blessings we must stop and turn to Him, we must forsake our sin and return to His path, the one He prescribed for us. And when we do, our hearts are light, for His burden is light, just as He promised.

- Paul

The Godhead

One of the great truths that came out of Joseph Smith’s experience when he prayed to know which church to join is the nature of the Godhead.

I have non-believing friends who believe that, counter to the scripture, man has created God in his own image rather than God’s having created man in His. I tell myself they do not understand, and hope that one day they will also find peace and solace in coming to know a benevolent Father in Heaven who is anxious to bless them.

I have other friends who characterize God as a three-personed entity, a Trinity including the Father, Son and Holy Ghost in one. I respect their belief, but I do not share it. But I do understand that we each find God in our own way, and in time He will reveal Himself to us as we open our hearts.

When Joseph prayed in the grove, he reports that he saw a pillar of light standing above him in the air, and in the light he saw two personages. One of those called him by name and, pointing to the other, said, “This is my beloved son. Hear Him!” (JSH 1:16-17)

In the New Testament, Matthew records the Savior’s baptism, and reports a voice from Heaven saying “This is My Beloved Son, in Whom I am well pleased,” and describes the Spirit of God descending like a dove (Matthew 3:16-17), also suggesting, as Joseph’s experience did, that there are three distinct members of the godhead.

Later Joseph recorded that the Father and Son each have bodies of flesh and bone, as tangible as man’s, and that the Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit but does not have a physical body (see D&C 130:22).

Some might wonder what it matters if God has a body or not, or if God the Father and Jesus are separate beings or not. And I suppose on one level it doesn’t matter, except that it is helpful to me to understand whom I worship. It’s helpful to understand that my relationship to God the Father is different from my relationship to Jesus Christ, that I pray to the Father in the name of the Son, that I recognize that it is only through the Son that I can return to the Father, and that I know it is the Holy Ghost which bears record of these truths to my heart and to my mind.

- Paul

Christmas

I love Christmas. I enjoy all the trappings of the holiday, and I still get caught up in the excitement of anticipation. Writing and receiving cards, singing carols, decorating the house with nativity scenes we've collected from around the world, and even wrapping gifts (on a good day) lend to the excitement of the holiday, which for me has both spiritual and social importance.

There are plenty of scholars who make clear that Jesus was not born in December, and in fact Mormons believe modern revelation confirms this fact. But that does not slow us down from celebrating the Savior's birth with the rest of the world on December 25. Interestingly, we do not have special Christmas Eve or Christmas Day services to attend; instead, we celebrate those times privately in our homes with our families.

We do speak and sing of Christmas in our regularly Sunday services around the holiday. The English-language ward (congregation) we attended in Taipei sponsors an annual Christmas pageant one weekend in December, and over four performances they repeat a live nativity play complete with an angelic choir and Mary riding in on a donkey (well, we used a half-blind horse, but it was a fair substitute). The pageant ha been performed since 2001 in an open air amphitheater in a park near the part of town where many westerners live, and westerners enjoy the traditional Christmas celebration, and local Taiwanese seem to enjoy this glimpse into Christianity, too.

Participating (my wife supervised the sewing and repair of costumes, we've sung in and led and accompanied the choir, and even our children participated as an angel, a shepherd and a member of the children's choir) was a great way to surround ourselves in the spirit of the season while offering a gift to our neighbors.

Having returned to the US this year, we have also returned to home-bound traditions, and will enjoy our own family-style nativity play on Christmas Eve.

- Paul